Jokes SMS

    I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.

    When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."

    One chicken to an other: are you taking' to me?

    Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

    A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others

    What's the difference between blonds and traffic-signs? Some signs say stop.

    When god created the men he was only kidding

    Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets!

    Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN

    When you harass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.

    There are three girls in the sixth grade ... A blond a brown and a red. Who has the biggest bloops? ............ The blond because she already reached the age of 20!!!

    If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents!

    How to keep an idiot entertained *press down*....................................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*

    Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters

    Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.

    You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?!

    Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitter balls and a little pot of mayonnaise

    Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law!

    What does it say on the wrapping of the Morning-after pil??? ......first some screwing before use

    Farmer seeks woman with tractor. Please add photo of tractor.

    Do you think I can live for another forty years? ... Do you drink? ... No! ... Do you smoke? ... No! ... Do you visit the whores? ... No! ....... Why do you want to live another forty years?

    Dialogue between 2 undertakers. "Do you have sometimes a dead period?"

    There are numerous restaurants where you can eat Chinese. But it does not help a bit. There are more every day.

    Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

    Can I go to the theater? Asks a mosquito to her mother. "Yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."